We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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