doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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