I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
