At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
