I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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