A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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