how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize