Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
