I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
