Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
