Don't EVER smell your tampon
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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