We're like a lot better than the average bears
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
