would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
