Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
