so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
