piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My ass is underappreciated
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
