we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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