You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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