Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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