I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize