How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
