I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
