Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
