He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
