It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
