I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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