you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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