"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
