You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
