my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize