Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
