Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
