Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So much Jack, so little girl.
How does one acquire holy water?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
