Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
