Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
