Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
