Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
4 words: hood of his car
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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