Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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