dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
