i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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