Kiss
Puke
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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