Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
