worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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