My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
