yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize