so explain again why im purple
no
i think my tv is drunk
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
