We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
