i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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