my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I AM VODKA MAN
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
