he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's not a walk of shame if you run
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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