Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
