Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
