i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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