Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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