I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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