I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
