better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
