So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
