Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We are two peas in an std pod
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
