Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
