I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
