so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
