But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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