Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
