I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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