in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
